Relationship

Relationship therapy or counselling can assist to resolve relationship issues through facilitated dialogues with your partner in session with the practitioner.

There are different names given for the same process when working with couples in the counselling environment, such as couples counselling or relationship therapy, marriage counselling or marital therapy. These different names basically describe the same process, with the difference often based on which psychotherapy theory or approach the practitioner favours.

Couples may choose to seek support for several reasons such as:

• help them identify what needs to change for their relationship to improve,
• achieve as healthy a separation as they can
• to really explore what’s happening within the relationship toward making a decision to stay in it or leave.

When working in Relationship therapy it is the relationship itself that is the focus of attention, instead of one individual focusing on a specific personal issue. The focus is on the problems existing and behaviours seen in the relationship between both people in it.

However it can be that these relationship problems often involve individual symptoms and problems, which contribute to the relationship conflicts, and these also may need to be addressed for the relational issues to change. For example:

• if you constantly argue with your spouse, you are more likely to also be anxious, angry or depressed (or all three) in life
• if you have difficulty controlling your temper generally in life, then you will have more arguments with your partner
• if you are expending all of your energy outside of your relationship, such as always at work, playing sport, out with your mates, then you are likely to struggle with feeling intimate or connected with partner

In Relationship therapy, the practitioner will help you and your partner identify the conflict issues within your relationship, and will help you decide what changes are needed in the relationship and in the behaviour of each partner, for both of you to feel satisfied within the relationship.

These changes may be different ways of interacting within the relationship, or they may be individual changes related to personal problems, which when addressed free up the relationship to grow. Couples therapy often involves relational skills development around

• learning how to communicate more effectively
• how to listen more closely
• getting out of power struggling and competing with each other
• the need to identify common life goals
• speaking about and sharing responsibilities within the relationship

Sometimes the process is very similar to individual psychotherapy or counselling, sometimes it is more like mediation, and sometimes it is educational. It is the combination of these three components that makes couples work most effective.

Relationship sessions are slightly longer than individual sessions, averaging about 75 to 90 minutes long. Clients can choose to work short or long term depending on the issue/s they wish to address and the level of change they desire to see in their relationship.